so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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