tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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