I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
