I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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