New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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