So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Fuck appropriateness.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize
