I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
