So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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