when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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