so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
