Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
