Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
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