Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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