So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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