Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
