I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
My life is pants optional.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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