my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
