Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize
