I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Randomize
