he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
