they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
