I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
