i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
