dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
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