dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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