my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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