Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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