I love watching others lives come down to our level.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
