So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Randomize
