booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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