addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Randomize
