I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
