i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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