Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Randomize
