you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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