Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Randomize
