The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
