Come see our sink grown plant.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
