A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
You're like the curious george of whores
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
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