I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I just blew my weed a kiss
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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