you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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