Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
