I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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