Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
just come out here and I will go home with you...
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Randomize
