Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
