I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
