what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
