32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
