Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
