Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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