She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
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