if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
