taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
