i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
