just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
