This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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